Long Goodbye

This is like tearing off a band aid VERY slowly. In this month I've performed in a play, performed a marriage, had my mother, sister, and 2 cousins stay with me in my 1 bedroom apartment, and finally, over a couple of fine Sonoman wines my sister and I tore down photos, paintings, buddha heads, and books, stripped my apartment and she left to Portland. I am alone here with my records, but nearly every trace of me has been taken from this apartment. Now living in this halfway apartment, this purgatory that is no longer mine, I can leave it a little easier, knowing it was a physical manifestation of the me that moved in here 4 years ago and the me now that is ready to come undone to be the other. I feel like I am saying goodbye everyday here..to streets to cars to jasmine to san francisco to bays and my queen bed. Part of me wishes I left already and didn't linger like a phantom.